Deliberations Of a 20 Year Old Male…

This post is an outcome of that free time and the long wait at the airport and on the Ahmedabad-Bangalore flight on the morning of 3rd December…

Few hours before turning 20 last month, I was not quite sure how to feel about it. One side of me was saying “yay! 20!”, but the other side, the much louder and stubborn side was saying “20! 20!!? WTF?! How can this be happening?! Nature cannot do this to me” It was pretty scary to think that my teen years were about to be over. I don’t know where all the time went! In my teenage years I just drank about 3 cans of beer and smoked 2 cigarettes, frankly I don’t regret doing any of it, every teenager experiments stuff like that and gets away with it. Heck, in a year I’ll be able to buy alcohol legally (though not in Ahmedabad)…where’s the fun and experimentation in that? It’s not that I WANT to do any of that, but at the same time, it’s almost bittersweet that that portion is over.

Usually turning 20 for many, as I have seen it means freedom from being a teenager, life feeling more sophisticated and mature, they feel exhilarated to call themselves 20 years old looking at their past as filled with excitement and being childish and such random, useless, juvenile, pensive stuff…

But to me, no such thing happened, when I turned 20 I felt old, not like old old but like a grown up, responsible and wiser old and now on top of that i can say that "I’m two decades old". Which just sounds old… but one can’t stop it! I know 20 years old isn’t old at all, it just seems like a huge step in my mind*. When we enter a new decade, we feel that we are leaving an era, and we are reminded of the opportunities we have lost along the way, the mistakes we’ve committed and of the moments we will never relive. The changes aren’t tangible but the feelings they bring are real. As for mistakes, they are where we learn from. I’ve done loads of mistakes in my life, I also admit that I AM gonna do loads of them knowingly or unknowingly in the future too. The mistakes we make in the past can ALWAYS serve as learning experiences if we allow ourselves to grow. If you can’t get past the past, you’re just going to play it over and over in your head and go nowhere.

At 20, one isn’t really an adult yet, but after seven long years, suddenly one is no longer a teenager either. As per me, 20 is the age when one should really become serious about life, at least for the next 10 years coz they decide the remaining part of your days on this insignificant planet. One should be wary. Lot can happen in the next 10 years. You can lose track of your goals in life, you can get caught up in a wrong profession and may end up marrying a wrong person and have your life ruined by having a kid so early. But if your years ahead are planned then it can be dealt with…

Retrospecting 2 years back when I turned 18, everything was so different, I was this ‘American Idol following, Eminem and Flo Rida listening, Hip Hop dance classes attending’ carefree ‘Yuppie’ who worked at Call Centres all night long in the vacations for that ‘extra pocket money’, in short, I was a ‘Victim Of Marketing’… Then the change happened when I joined ‘Yuva Unstoppable’ to divert myself from something untoward that occurred to me about 1.5 years back, joining this organization founded by Amitabh Shah gradually changed my entire outlook on life… And thanks to the wonderful people I met at and through this organization (Riddhi, Palak to name a few) who unknowingly have contributed a lot in moulding myself into the person I am today and literally I can say that joining this organization is one of the best decisions of my life yet as I know it …

Looking back sometimes I also feel that these years have indeed passed by so quickly, seems that the year 2000 and Y2K hype was just a year ago. Every once in a while when I catch myself thinking back to 7th grade, 5th grade, 3rd grade, I realize “wow…that was a REALLY long time ago!”. It’s been 7 years since I was in 7th grade! 7 years! High school’s also just a blur in my memory. Although they were 3 very important years for me, it feels like they’re ancient history now. I hope the 10 years between now and when I turn 30 don’t feel as quick as the years between when I turned 10 and now did. But then, we’ve got just one life to live (theists don’t worry, pray hard and your God will give you a human form again in your next birth) and that’s damn short, 20 years just rushed past by me, a quarter of my life is over, it won’t be long I would find myself 40 forgetting to ‘live’ my life by being a part of this rat race. Time waits for no one and I shouldn’t cry over spilled milk, I should just make better use of the present and future.

*You can use these lines as limerick!

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7 responses to “Deliberations Of a 20 Year Old Male…

  1. Thanx Kaycee..for your words of appreciation..Life is such..every milli second that flows by..U won’t realise it..U will only after long years of deliberation..Like Life has to be lived totally..happiness,sorrows et all..That’s how fragile and stong too..One Life!One shot!Live it!(Sorry was in a thinking mode dude!)

  2. Pingback: 2010 in review « Kay's Blog

  3. Pingback: 21 Today! | K Street Journal

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